Month: March 2016

7 TIMES SPONGEBOB GOT DARK AND DISTURBING

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You know that friendly sponge that’s been on TV since I don’t know 1999 or so. I don’t know. I was like six. Anyway, it’s become one of the most well known cartoon series in history. It’s no secret that it has gone down hill over the years as one YouTube channel can attest: https://www.youtube.com/user/TheMysteriousMrEnter But we had some laughs. We had some cries. And then we have…this. SpongeBob had some dark and disturbing episodes over the years. Here I am showing you a few.

7. I Was A Teenage Gary

This one still haunts my soul since the first day I saw it. It starts harmlessly enough. SpongeBob has to leave for a jellyfishing convention for a weekend, but he can’t take his pet snail Gary, so he leaves him with Squidward until he gets back. Since it’s y’know Squidward, Gary gets neglected and is sick, or rather dehydrated but they don’t know that yet, so SpongeBob calls a vet to get him looked at. The vet gives him a needle, but unlike a good vet would he leaves our heroes to inject him. Squidward tries to inject but ends up hitting SpongeBob instead. Of course Gary is fine, but Spongebob is not. Here comes the disturbing part: he slowly turns into a snail. If you see this scene, you will be disturbed. Then SpongeSnail chases Squidward around in a disturbing scene until he sticks himself and turns into a snail. Yeah, good luck with that.

6. Shanghaied

One of my favorite episodes has a dark side. Of course it does, it involves a ghost. Look up fridge horror when reading this entry. SpongeBob, Squidward, and Patrick goes aboard the Flying Dutchman’s ship where they are to be his servants forever. Despite the hilarity that ensued, it becomes disturbing when the Flying Dutchman, besides throwing Squidward in a horrifying tunnel when he refused to be his servant, actually kept his promise. The three never left. Think about it. The ending had the Flying Dutchman chase the three after turning them into fruit in order to eat them. And this was in another dimension, so all they could do is keep running until they got caught and eaten. Another ending had them actually inside him, stuck there forever.

5. Selling out

“You wouldn’t want to have to talk to human resources, would you?”

Yeah, this one might be a bit of a stretch, but it’s still kinda dark. This is what happens on the dark side of business. When Mr. Krabs sells his restaurant to a business man. The Krusty Krab gets turned from a job that the main character likes to a secret Big Brother is watching establishment. The character Carl is pretty creepy, always smiling and threatening the crew while doing it. The patties are made of “material” instead of actual food. The scary part: this is restaurant establishments today.

4. Squid baby

Head traumas are terrifying. Unlike breaking bones in your legs, you’re never guaranteed to be normal again, and you can’t be you without them. In a nutshell, Squidward bumps his head and becomes a baby. The doctor tells SpongeBob and Patrick to not let Squidward hit his head again. So what ensues is SpongeBob and Patrick babysitting Squidward and his head gets hit again and again in cringe worthy ways in an attempt at humor. Now imagine if this was your baby, head traumatized child or person, or your grandparents suffering from dementia. Not so funny.

3. SquidBob TentaclePants

This:

Just this. This is what happens when science goes horribly wrong. Seriously, whose eye is that? I guess that fish wouldn’t have to worry about his leg any more.

2. Demolition Doofus

This is what happens when you have a reckless driver as a student. For years we thought that was funny with SpongeBob and Mrs. Puff. Okay, maybe it has gotten a little stale but still. Well, reality ensues, when SpongeBob’s driving actually cripples Mrs. Puff, and he…laughs at it. “I guess we have to call you Mrs. Pop. Ha ha.” If you had been or seen a driving accident victim, this would not be your first reaction. It gets worse. Mrs. Puff then signs up SpongeBob in attempt to get him killed in a demolition derby. That’s right. Not injured or to teach him a lesson, killed. Not certain enough. “Why are you still alive!” is one of her quotes. When the drivers didn’t cut it, she tries kill him herself. Of course everything’s back to normal, except one thing: the cops must really suck in the Bikini Bottom. They’ll take Mrs. Puff to jail for everything SpongeBob did, but not when she tries to kill him?

  1. One Coarse Meal

Suicide never is, never was, never will be funny. Driving someone there is guaranteed to make you the most hated character in a show. So what diabolical, heinous, vile thing did Plankton do. Well…nothing. Plankton was the victim. Mr. Krabs, SpongeBob’s boss and mentor, was the culprit. He exploited Plankton’s fear of whales and had chased, stalked, and tormented his former best friend until he wants to be stepped on and/or run over. How did he react when he learned of his friend’s condition? He laughs and aims to push it further. I don’t want to eat crabs any more.

So that’s my list. Hope I didn’t ruin your childhood.